
Margaret Chapin Frueh
Oct. 10. 1921 - July 20, 2011
This week I said good-bye to my beautiful mother. My words could easily number in the thousands. But because this is a gardening blog, I will write about Mom as the first person to share her love of gardening with me. I'm quite sure she began that sharing by stopping the stroller along the "Mosquito Path" to show me the Daisies, Black-eyed Susans and other wildflowers of the countryside. When I was old enough to walk along the side of the stroller she revealed more wonders to me, like looking for the one tiny little dark blossom in the middle of all the white blossoms on each cap of the Queen Anne's Lace. Or laughing as I turned up my nose at the smell of the Skunk Cabbage. Or probing with a stick to find the spit bug in the middle of the froth on the plant stem. She always kept a flower patch near the back door of the farmhouse. The first crocus blossom was a joyful event to be celebrated; as the pansies were planted, she showed us that each blossom had a face. Nasturtiums and Hollyhocks were favorites of hers. (I've never since known hollyhocks that grew as prolifically as hers.) Even with five children to consume her time, she planted a large vegetable garden, often finding time to can tomatoes, freeze corn, make pickles. Snip-snip from the clump of chives to sprinkle on potato salad. Snip-snip from the mint patch to flavor the lemonade. She delighted in simple gifts. Once a year, when the time was right, my father came in from a mysterious spot in the woods with a special gift for my mom - a blossom from the tulip tree. Mom floated it in a glass dish and we marveled at this miracle. And as if my gift was an equal, she would light up when I pushed my fist of dandelions into her face. Later in life Mom lived in apartment buildings many miles from the farmhouse. She always put flowers next to the steps leading to the apartment. With the same hands that had nourished and loved us, she checked on them daily, nurtured them and talked to them. Her favorite gardens were the ones she snuck in against the rules, for no rule was as abhorrent to Mom as "Residents May Not Plant Ornamental Flowers." How she loved to be naughty!! (As if white landscaping rocks were a good substitute for flowers!) And in her final weeks, even though she was nearly completely blind, I took bouquets from my garden to her beside so that she could smell them, and hear me say the names of all those old friends of hers. She will live on in my heart in so many ways. As I sow, weed, water and reap I will feel her presence with me. I close with this verse attributed to James Douglas:
"It is good to be alone in a garden at dawn
or dark so that all its shy presences
may haunt you and possess you
in a reverie of suspended thought."
My simple gardens will help me to bear her loss.