I know this will be a long post. But therapy sessions are usually an hour, aren't they? And this is therapy.
According to Webster, yin-yang is "opposite sides, elements or extremes." This is my yin-yang tree because it hosts something not-beautiful and something beautiful. I'll begin with the former. With apologies to animal-of-all-species-lovers, the
not beautiful is snakes, the true subject of this passage. The lower branches of this tree provide cool shelter for a family of garter snakes. Out of respect for readers who abhor the sight (and I know one in particular), I did not begin with the snake picture. It is below. It is a small picture. Consider yourself warned.
This Alberta Spruce is in the garden that closely surrounds my patio and is in the area where an occasional garter snake has been spotted in recent years. Every instinct I have, told me that if we vacationed the last two weeks in April, I could expect the snakes to claim my garden as their Eden, make themselves quite at home and in fact multiply. The morning of my return I tip-toed out to check my instincts only to find FOUR snakes sunning themselves in their new-found paradise. FOUR!!! AND TWO WERE BIG!!!!! I knew it was time to face my fears, separate the irrational from the rational and find some coping skills.
Let me say from the start that I am not, technically,
afraid of them. Intellectually, I know they are not poisonous. I know they can't hurt me (let's not bring the possibility of cardiac arrest into this therapy session). But to put it simply, they creep me out to the fullest extent of my sensibilities. And that is the only negative to their presence in my garden. I know they do
good things:
1. They eat insect pests. Not giving them a lot of credit here. How are they going to eat aphids on the top leaves? And when have I ever seen a snake leap into the air to snag a mosquito? But okay, let's give them a point anyway for eating bugs.
2. They kill mice. No points here. I'll take a cute little mouse any day.
3. When they attain a length of three feet they can eat moles and voles. ARE YOU SERIOUS??? THREE FEET??? Does anyone see anything wrong with this sentence???
Solutions
1. Sprinkling "Snake Away" is not an option. Too many garden areas - they'll only move around. What if it traps them inside the garden and they can't get past the barrier? What if it sends them slithering to my basement?
2. Assault and Battery. I am loathe to swing a garden shovel over my head, Paul Bunyan style, and bring it down on the body of a snake. I would never sleep again.
3. Summon St. Patrick but I think he's still tired out from his Ireland experience
That brings us to
Coping Skills, and I do have some.
1. When beginning a garden work session, approach the area slowly with watchful eyes darting, speak sharply, clap hands, stamp feet and bang the shovel on the patio wall a few times. This takes care of all facts and fiction I haven't bothered to sort out (Snakes don't have ears? Snakes can hear? Snakes can't hear? Snakes react to vibrations?). Bases covered. The combination usually sends them back under the tree.
2. NEVER sit or kneel to work an area of the garden. At my age there is no such thing as a fast escape from that position if one should come into my view (I hate to keep bringing up cardiac arrest, but......)
3. In stronger moments attempt creative visualization through positive comments.
Talk to the snake in a matter-of- fact, confident, relaxed voice. Sweetly inquire if he's enjoying the sun. But not all moments are moments of strength. Which brings up a real fear and that is a fear of being turned in to the authorities by my neighbors. BECAUSE if I spot a snake and unleash my feelings in a screaming torrent of verbal abuse "Get out of my sight you beastly vermin. I rue the day you came into existence!" and the only living thing in sight is my dear husband, what are the neighbors to believe of me??
For readers who dare, you may now look, and yes, that "thing" re-emerging from beneath the brick to the right of the black pole is a tail, making him very long indeed.
The bottom line is, I will not allow garter snakes to rob me of the pleasure of gardening. That gives to the snakes the power that is rightfully mine.
For those who like happy endings, I offer a picture of the nest of cardinal eggs I found at the top of this same life-giving Alberta Spruce. I'm feeling better already. Thank you. This therapy session is over.